6 tips on how to support a friend through IVF with donor eggs

6 tips on how to support a friend through IVF with donor eggs

If a friend of yours has confided in you they’re planning to have fertility treatment, show them they can count on you from the start. The sheer fact that they told you about their plans for IVF with donor eggs is big news. This means she trusts you. Let your friend know you appreciate the trust.

If you’ve never dealt with infertility or are new to the concept of IVF with donor eggs, supporting an infertile person may seem tricky at first. Here’s what you can do.

  1. Take it seriously

Don’t minimize the problem saying that “everything will be OK, you just need to relax and have treatment.” Infertility and egg donation are a big deal. IVF with donor eggs is highly successful treatment, however, the decision to have it needs to be well-thought-out and not hurried. Sit down together and have a look at the egg donation reviews online or egg donor profiles, if your friend is happy to do so. If she prefers to do it with her partner, you should respect her decision.

  1. Ask them if they need anything from you

If you aren’t sure how you can get involved, simply ask. It’s better to voice your doubts than say something unnecessary. Ask them what you can do to help, if they want to talk about it and offer your time to just sit down, have a cuppa and listen. Just be there for her. However, don’t limit your conversations to IVF topics. Remember – you are still her friend. If you can, go out together and have some fun. If you prefer to stay in, have a girls’ night at home and prepare chocolate dessert.

  1. Be kind and understanding

Kindness doesn’t cost anything. Be sensitive to the challenges your friend is currently facing. All in all, very few things are as painful and heart-breaking as the inability to conceive and carry your own child. It is a delicate topic – just give your friend a huge dose of love and care in this difficult moment in her life.

  1. Don’t complain about your own children or pregnancy

If you have children or are currently pregnant, bear in mind that your friend would probably love to have sleepless nights or even a pregnancy heartburn if that meant she could easily become a parent. Try to save your kids and pregnancy updates for your other friends.

  1. Back her up in all her decisions

Show your friend you support her no matter what decisions she makes. You can be sure that she and her partner have already spent countless days and nights discussing their options. If they plan to travel abroad to a more reliable clinic with better success rates, show her you are with her along the way. If she needs someone to look after her dog or cat, offer help. Such small gestures sometimes count more than the big.

  1. Get Involved in advocacy

And, finally, spread awareness about IVF with donor eggs. Did you know that most advocacy efforts come from infertile couples and friends/family? What can you do? It is not a time-consuming commitment. Even advocating on a small scale helps. Overheard somebody speaking about test-tube designer babies or picky parents who choose their baby’s sex or eye colour? Speak up and refute the myths. In most countries gender-selection (family-planning) is legally banned and, in reality, infertile couples don’t care about the sex of their baby. They just want to become parents.

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Collaboration Post

Is social media and technology affecting your family?

“Come down for tea” I hollar cheerfully up the stairs….. a minute or so goes by….

“boys, come on sweeties, it’s on the table….” more time passes and not a peep can be heard.

It’s now on the table and I’m getting a bit irritated….”Boys!!”

I’m starting to boil now…. “Right I’m going to count to 3!”

Eventually they appear, not in the least bit aware of the effect of my shouting up the stairs. I’ve now got to get myself out of the self induced strop that I’m in because day after day my voice is just not having the effect I think it should. My little boys are getting into a world of their own and that world is inhabited by the likes of YouTube stars and watching people carry out the silliest of pranks on shows they and their friends find online.

Now, I love to blog, my youngest loves to vlog for my blog and I have brought them the gadgets to watch this stuff on so really the blame lands firmly with me, I realise that but it’s all starting to get on my wick a bit.

Me and the OH do chat about the gadgets in our house and the boys use of them. We are pretty good in a few areas, we don’t have any devices at the meal table, homework is done straight away and they both do classes after school. It’s still amazes me though how they can get so into the zone watching these things on YouTube. I push for things like newsround and deadly 60 to throw in a bit of knowledge based learning but even Steve Backshaw has a bit of competition with the YouTube elite of Spencer et al.

Looking at the stats you can find for facebook, snapchat, instagram and all the other little cousins of the social media world you can see the millions of daily users and how year on year these are increasing to meet the demand of our younger generation hopping onto this online juggernaut.

I find myself dreaming of giving it all up and living on a farm away from the bustle of modern life. I see the huge pitfalls too of making this leap; money, contacts, work, school to name but a few of the basics. It’s still so tempting!

I was watching a film the other night about a family shunning the modern way of living and relying more on natural skills and intellectual educational learning and I kept thinking the same thing; there was something missing. The more I thought about it the easier it was to see, the missing link was ‘balance‘.

Technology can have so many great benefits to us and our family life, we can instantly communicate with friends and relatives on the other side of the world and keep our links with these people alive and current. On the other hand are our children’s social skills being permanently adversely affected? Are we protecting their well-being by letting them be in their rooms on social media apps that distort their communication methods into abbreviated text junk?

So, back to my thoughts about balance and what can I do to instil some balance in the way that we live our lives. We can take a moment to stop and think what we are filling our days with. We can discuss together whether this is the direction we want to continue in. Do we need to get back to basics. Not one of those political slogans but something that is right for our own families. Sitting and talking as a family, eating together at least once a day, spending time without phones, iPads or any form of devise. I’m willing to give this a go and put my other solution of wellington boots and the countryside to one side at the moment. I want us to connect.

Has technology affected the way that you and your family communicate with each other and have you seen this trend slowly change or were there certain triggers?

Let's see who has got the balance right, involve others in the discussion.Click To Tweet

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Audiobooks from BookBeat

I can now get to hear my favourite audiobooks wherever I am and whatever I am doing! This is going to be a big change for me. As you probably know, it’s a busy life in the myrealfairy household as it is for most of us. I do try and keep it all together, you will see by my attempts at making the school run go smoother that I give it a good go but as you know, there is always more to be done! So, the fab new site that will make me feel more connected with all the bestsellers that I have missed out on is called BookBeat and it’s full of literary gems.

audiobooks-BookBeat www.myrealfairy.com
It’s so cool it knows me!

BookBeat was founded and launched in Sweden in 2015 and has come to the UK in March of this year. It’s a digital streaming service that allows you to listen to a huge range of Audiobooks on your mobile device wherever you are. This is the key point for me as I have lost out on catching up with reading as I just don’t get the time between work and the kids.

You can stream the stories through your wi-fi and you can also download to your library and listen when you don’t have access to a connection. This is so handy for those waiting around times for the little ones. You can now sit back, relax and listen….bliss!

Now if you are like me then it’s good to try before you buy. I don’t sign up for much without really knowing what I am going to get for my money. So I am pleased to say that the BookBeat guys and gals also feel the same way and have given me a whole month for free to share with each and every one of you, whoop whoop!

Here is the link where you can get a whole month free of charge! Click: Free Month

BookBeat www.myrealfairy.com

There are lots of genres and titles to choose from, I took a screenshot from my phone for you to see how it looks on my hand-held device and I also love the look of the site so I wanted to show it off to you! There are 12 sections in all and then you can see the best sellers and editors picks too.


I will be reviewing the children’s and classic Audiobooks over the coming months but I wanted to start with an overview of the site and so far so good. It’s easy to use, has lots of content and good customer service, what’s not to love!

Pop over and check out the social media sites and you can get a feel for BookBeat. I’d love to hear what you think and what stories you might like.

Instagram – @bookbeatuk

Facebook – @bookbeatuk

Twitter  – @BookBeatUK

Let people know how they can listen too and have a free month!Click To Tweet

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