Pre Empty Nest Syndrome? Is this what I have?

Not quite a teenager and not a little boy content with running up to his mummy and back. My little boy is growing up and I’m finding it hard.

 

When I saw my eldest son ‘M’ for the first time, it took my breath away. The moment is always with me and I look back and talk about it whenever I can….here with you, with the kids and with my friends. The feeling was no different with my second boy ‘G’. I’ve always had a strong drive to keep both of my boys safe and a bit wrapped up in cotton wool. Those that know me would nod along now and hopefully smile in recognition as I’m probably the most over protective of the lot. I’ve heard of empty nest syndrome but never pre empty nest syndrome….my babies are still at home, just growing up.

empty nest syndrome
‘M’ aged 4….he’s 11 now. Oh how time has flown.

As my eldest reaches towards 12 I am having a few moments when I struggle with him taking that next step towards teenagehood and being more independent. I think maybe it’s because it’s the start of another school year and so many different questions….and behaviours have begun to show.

The reluctance by him to spend as much time with me has been something to get used to. Having him want to spend time alone, chatting with his friends without wanting me around is something new.  I love it so much, that he’s growing up and he has lovely friends who all get on and laugh at their own in-jokes. However, I’m now looking on at this and not instigating it. It’s not created by me – for him…..I’m not included as much, wow, when did this happen? I’m starting not to be the only big thing in his world. It’s a bit of a shock!

empty nest syndrome
He looks alot different now but I couldn’t resist these of when he was smaller.

The full on unashamed spontaneous hugs have also started to fizzle out, when they do come it’s magical and I crush him in my embrace. He does that ‘ok mum’ and giggles, knowing that I will undoubtedly now ruffle his hair which he has just preened and styled to an inch of its life.

My rational side knows that I am proud of what we have achieved. This is what I have been preparing him for so why does it give me a lump in my throat even writing about it?

I know that being a parent is to nurture and care for our young and I realise that they are not to be owned by us. We have to prepare them and set them on their own unique path. I hadn’t realised until now that the notion of this would be so hard, I had been in the caring role for so long.

It’s all such a learning curve being a parent. I’m always amazed at the different emotions it brings.

Am I alone or is this normal or even normal-ish? Do you ever get these feelings?

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Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

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My ode to him…My other half

I wrote this poem to the ‘other half’ as we were on a flight recently to Munich to attend a wedding.

If you had read my previous post here about my fear of flying then you’d know how I was getting into a bit of a state. I had so many great and supportive comments on that post, it really did help. Thanks very much:) My ode to him – my other half was born out of fear and love very high up.

I’m not normally the soppy sort but the way that the other half handled my quietness and obvious anxiety was really touching. The hormones must of been raging because at how ever many thousands of feet up on the airbus 319 I found myself expressing my thoughts to him in a poem.

 

There is no agenda

There is no pretence

We’re together because we want to be,

Together even when I’m tense.

———-

Like now

As we take off

Like now

As I try to hold it down.

———-

He sits here, peaceful, majestic

Not a worry, not a frown.

———-

I love my man to Munich and back

I love him because I can,

He makes it easy to be with him

 He makes me so very calm.

———-

Like now

As he strokes me,

Like now

Gently on my arm.

———-

So, thank you sweetie for being you,

Thank you for ‘us’ too.

You’ve made this trip just fly by

Through doing what you do.

———-

This last parts so very easy babe….

Nothing more to say 

As we alight this huge great craft

‘I love you more each day’

 

 

 

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